Lazy Afternoon Reruns: “When I become president . . .”

I will run as a moderately liberal conservative who is a strong supporter of the First Amendment and a representative for the best values of the South: individual rights tempered by a love of God and family. My campaign theme song will be Merle Haggard’s “Rainbow Stew.”

My administration will be both pro-choice and pro-life, because the choices that we make in life affect other people’s ability to have lives and choices.

The first thing I will do is: assemble a Cabinet and staff made up entirely of Waffle House waitresses. They get things done fast, and they get them done right. They don’t give special treatment. They don’t care who or what you are. They don’t put up with any shit, but they always call you “sweetie” or “sugar.”

The White House press briefing room will have a house band. I’d like it if it were Galactic, but I understand that leaving New Orleans could be hard for them. If not Galactic, then Crazy Horse.

Read the whole post

1 Comment »

  1. Foster,
    You are a fabulous writer. I cried and smiled when I read yesterday’s blog. Today I laughed out loud and vow to put all my marbles in for you in any office you want to run for! It all makes perfect sense.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.